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cpollsen
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Name: Cindy
Birthday: 1/28/1980
Gender: Female
Interests: God, music, singing, songwriting, MERCYhouse (it's a church... hehe), promoting my favorite band: Harry and the Potters, traveling, making people laugh, analyzing EVERYTHING...people, movies, music, the Bible, relationships, somebody STOP me...
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/15/2006
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| this week, i learned the following:
1. somehow, after admitting to God that i was harboring a lot of anger and bitterness, toward a lot of people, He made it go away. being honest with God about how you are feeling is really important.
2. i realized i was angry largely due to pride and a desire to control, but had been conveniently labeling these things "a sense of responsiblity." after i had to face the reality that i have a controlling nature (i seriously thought only other women had this problem), i had this total surrender moment with God where i was like, "crap, i have absolutely no idea (or, at least, have forgotten) what i'm doing, what i should be doing, and how to do it." i was reminded, yet again, that i am powerless and helpless without Him. it's like starting at square one again. this is a good place to go back to once in a while, i think. also, i'm really no better than the people i was angry with.
3. giving up control, though difficult, has allowed me to experience peace. i mean real peace. like an ease that makes you wonder what the heck you were working so hard at before, when God wanted to do the work for you.
4. putting trust in God, where it belongs, also makes it possible for me to trust leaders in the church. i'm talking specifically about male leaders. women, you know what i mean. this is not easy.
5. contrary to what you may believe after talking to me about church, there is NOT always a crisis going on in MERCYhouse. thank you, mom, for pointing this out to me -- that i tend to overdramatize.
6. the speaker at the conference at UMass shared this with the group, and i think it is really good:
(paraphrased) What women really want from men: There should be a deep place in a man's core where he is so in touch/ connected to his Redeemer/ Creator that we (women) cannot control. We can brush up against it, touch it, even, but not control it.
Also, men, you have strength. Don't waste it. Bring it to the woman, and bring it to something bigger than yourself. (i.e. Stand up for the poor and the oppressed. Show justice and compassion.) These are very attractive qualities in a man. | | |
| what does it say about people , if they refer to themselves in the third person? cindy decided to update her xanga page, new pic and everything. this picture is from a fantastic road trip to Minnesota for Matt and Mya Burgoon's wedding. it is a moment in time when i believe she was truly happy... i mean, obviously -- she's sitting outside on a beautiful farm, with a guitar in hand, and surrounded by boys. he he.
i think i said a long time ago that i wanted to use this site to talk about what God is teaching me. lesson learned lately: when you are the recipient of someone's generosity, it makes you want to be generous, too. the story: my housemate, Meredith, told me about an upcoming show at the Mullins Center -- Jesus Christ Superstar. i tell her i love this musical and need to start listening to my CD of it immediately. she sent me the link, so i could see details, including how much the tickets cost. well, after i looked into it, i thought, ok there's no way i can afford it. sigh. not going. she asked me later if i was going to go and i probably made a "woe is me" statement about not having enough money. a few days later she hands me a twenty dollar bill and says, "i really want you to see Jesus Christ Superstar. i know this doesn't cover the whole ticket, but i thought it would help." i am surprised, and reluctant to take it. then i say, well, i don't have anyone to go with me... i think it would be great if the MERCYhouse staff could see it all together, but no one in that group has money either. i tried to give it back to her, she said no, keep it -- you'll find someone. so later that day i run into Michelle at Price Rite. she offers to buy my groceries. i decline and say these are my housemates' groceries, too... everyone already chipped in money for them. but, if you want to contribute money toward something, i would love to see the staff have a fun outing to see JC Superstar... she said she'd look into it. later that same day, i get to the staff meeting, and i say to Nate and Lois, ok, guys, i really think we should all go to this show (having talked about it the week before and finding out Nate and Robert know all the music too), let's buy tickets for Robert and Melanie so they can go too. (somehow, before, i didn't have enough to pay for myself but yet now i say let's go ourselves AND buy tickets for other people. hmmm...) lois remembers there is $20 left from my birthday 2 years ago that was supposed to go to a room re-do, which never happened, so that can go toward my ticket. as for nate and sarah, nate was pretty sure he could get comp tickets... so that left 3 tickets to be paid for, split between lois and myself. this seemed doable, and thus, was done. then michelle called me Sat. night and informed me that they (she and Jonah) wanted to buy all 4 tickets.... they had asked their housechurch to chip in, too. again, i am really touched by this. SO, the end: tonight was the night of the show. robert, melanie, lois, nate, sarah, and i all got to see it, and it all started with one person's generosity and a $20 bill. i can think of many other examples of how i have seen this play out. most importantly, i think of Jesus. he extends grace to me, defends me (a guilty person) before the Father -- how could i then not extend grace and forgiveness to others? it makes me want to. just like Kurt said at church one Sunday (he's a public defender) -- he loves defending guilty people because Jesus did it for him. He forgives me, i can forgive others. He loves me, i can love others. I surrender all that i have to Him, and He fills my cup till it overflows. the more i give away, the more i get in return. if i'm willing to lose my life, i will find it. it's awesome. thanks, mere, for getting the ball rolling on this one...
and one brief thing i learned from New Orleans, along this same vein: don't withhold what you do have (whether it's money, time, labor, a listening ear, a hug) from others, even if you think it's not a lot. if you have Christ, you have more than enough. go share. | | |
| i had a very important question answered by the marshmallowfluff.com website. is Fluff gluten-free? YES.
so, anyone want to take a gander at what Cindy is giving out as presents this year?? hmmm?? or is it yummm...
oh, yeah, the H & P show was @#$*in' awesome. i rocked out with my bad viola self and we all conquered evil together... at least for one night. take that, Voldemort. | | |
| so, i did run the whole thing! i won't tell you my time, it's not important. (if you really want to know, you can read jen's site :)
i had to correct something in my last post... if you do want to send money for the couch fund, send it to Lois's PO Box, not the MERCYhouse one (for fear of Robert opening it). so, that address is PO Box 3161, Amherst, MA 01004.
ok, that's it. | | |
| i'm running my first 5k tomorrow morning! the Hot Chocolate Run in Northampton... thanks to Joanna who inspired me and made me believe i, too, could be a runner?!? and thanks to my roomies who trained with me. ok, ok, so i took about 3 weeks off... and some other days here and there. but, i think i might be able to run the whole thing... we'll see. it's exciting. i'll let you know how i do. (as long as it's not too embarrassing).
REMINDER: the Yule Ball (Harry and the Potters show) is coming up!! it's on Sunday Dec. 10th at the Middle East in Cambridge... 2 shows: 1pm and 6pm. now, as far as i know, i'm still playing viola on the Albus Dumbledore song, although i haven't had any actual contact with either of the DeGeorge brothers-- only their sister. who i visited in Seattle, by the way, for Thanksgiving. i have to say, i loved Seattle. it rained every day i was there, but, if you can get over the weather, it seems like a cool city to live in. if i were a city person. ok, here's the link to the H & P website, which you'll want to check out so that you can get your tickets :) http://www.eskimolabs.com/hp
hey Mercyhousers, and friends of Mercyhouse, Lois is collecting donations for the Krumreys to get 2 new couches for Christmas (sshhhhh-- this is a surprise for them), so if you would like to donate to the Krumrey couch fund, then give money to Lois and tell her what it's for. if you write a check, make it out to her and put "couch fund" in the memo line. she set up a separate account for it, so it WILL go to the right place. you can mail donations to her at PO Box 3161, Amherst, MA 01004. we're trying to raise $2000, and we have $675 now. this, also, is very exciting. (what an exciting post, Cindy!) remember, keep it on the DL!!
ok, i'm going to go rest up for the race...
p.s. for Holiday Music listening, i recommend the Carpenters' Christmas album. no, really. | | |
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